Miracles... They Still Exist

If you are popping by the blog for a "funny" today... you may want to click elsewhere.  I've got some great suggestions for a laugh to the right (see Blogs I Stalk).  But, tonight I'm feeling thankful.  Thankful that miracles happen, and that today that miracle touched my life personally.  Very personally.

If you've been reading my little thoughts for long, you know that my best college girlfriend was diagnosed with Stage 4 non-Hodgkins lymphoma 15 months ago.  Stage 4.  To read more about Catherine and her story, click here and here and here.

After various and somewhat unsuccessful chemotherapy treatments, Catherine sought care at MD Anderson.  It was there that she received additional chemotherapy, a stem cell transplant (still didn't do it) and then the following 23 radiation treatments.  Catherine completed her last radiation treatment in December, and has been "simmering" until yesterday.  She had her "final" PET scan yesterday at MD Anderson Cancer center in Houston Texas.  It mustn't go unsaid that I will forever be a financial supporter and verbal (I will forever sing their praises) supporter of the work done at MD Anderson.  Why?  Because, they saved my friend's life. 

I received the following text message today.  A day so cloudy and dreary and overcast, that I could hardly process the amazing news. 

"The fight is over. I have beat cancer! Thanks to each and every one of you for all your support and prayers through the past 15 months.  I couldn't have done it without ya'll."

Miracles.  They happen.  They happen everyday.  I think I am often too busy to stop and give thanks and to acknowledge.  Simple acknowledgment.  Catherine's life continues because of the amazing medical research, technology, and ingenuity of the medical professionals at MD Anderson.  In addition, I give thanks to God. It is my belief that God did not create cancer, but He did create the people that devote their lives to finding a cure.  And those people choose to use their God given gifts to help. These wonderful folks use their gifts to repair our broken world, and to bring hope to children, men, and women with a bleak prognosis.   These amazing people change lives.  They changed Catherine's life, and that in turn touches my life, very directly. And hopefully this story will touch your life.

So I pause.  I pause to give thanks to God.  I give thanks for my amazing friend and all she has taught me.  "Roll with it, Suz."  "Be happy."  Yes, be happy.  I am. 



Addendum regarding the photo:  Cat and I took a trip to Cancun after her second full round of chemotherapy, but prior to knowing for certain that the cancer was still spreading. After our trip, at the urging of family and friends, she sought help at MD Anderson.  That picture was taken last July.  In that picture, she had cancer.  Today, February 3, 2010, she is cancer free. 

To All My Blog Stalkers...

Blog Stalkers: You know who you are... There is nothing shameful in creeping around and stalking a stranger's blog.  After all, it is on the world wide web.  No secrets here. So today,I'm going to give you increased insight into moi, courtesy of JenJen at Jen's Voices.

JenJen, precious thing, tagged me on a fun questionnaire that came with its own award. 

Don't you just love awards?  I do.  I need the affirmation that I'm the best at something...even if it is just "following."

Where JenJen leads me, I will follow.  I'll go with her, with her, all the way.  Sorry, I was suddenly transported back to the Baptist Church hymnal of my youth.

I've been stalking Ms.JenJen's blog for many months--maybe a year now.  It's not obsessive, but I have dreamed of her becoming my Facebook friend... so maybe a bit? However, I secretly think she's too cool for me, but I would have given my right arm to sit with her at lunch in high school.  So, check out her blog... on one condition.  You have to promise to not drop me for her, okay?  If you don't have time to read both, move on.  Sorry JenJen.... I gotta hold onto my scant readership.  

So here is the naked truth about me:

What is your current obsession?

How to narrow it down?  Words with Friends (iPhone scrabble).  Jennie O' Turkey Bacon. Mini Moon Pies.

What are you wearing today?

A sparkling hand beaded pink ball gown with yards and yards of fluffy, scratchy tulle and glass slippers.  Nope.  Black slacks, blue shirt, a black cardigan, and heels.

What’s for dinner?

My freighbor is coming over.  It's grilled chicken/turkey bacon wrap and baked sweet potato fry Monday.  We gobble this goodness while laughing hysterically at the "Bachelor".  "The Most BOOOOOORING Bachelor EVA!"

What’s the last thing you bought?

Turkey bacon and bread.  Yes, really. 

What do you think about the person who tagged you?

If you didn't get from the second and third paragraph that I completely adore JenJen and her blog... please reread.  Or go somewhere else... you're slow.  

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?

Hawaii.  One temperature January-December.  I can handle that.  

What are your must-have pieces for summer?

Great sandals, a slenderizing swimsuit, and a kick-ass cover-up. 

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

An hour?  Sheesh.  I hate being rushed.  I'd probably go for a massage on the beach in Mexico.  Only if I could tele-port.

Who do you want to meet right now?

Dolly Parton, Jesus, John Wayne, and George from the Schumpert Hospital Menu Line.

What is your favorite color?

Pink- duh. 

Give us three styling tips that work for you?

1) invest money in a good haircut. It makes all the difference 2) you're never fully dressed without a smile, and 3)  Always carry a tide pen in your purse (not really a styling tip, but has rescued me from many jams).

What is your dream job?

I would love to have an Art Studio where I taught painting, drawing, and nifty crafts to children, adults, and seniors.  It would be fun, funky and relaxed.  Price: whatever you can pay. 

What’s your favorite magazine?

Okay... Country Living (hysterical laughter ensues--okay, stop snickering.  I know I'm 30 somein', not 80 somein').  Yes, I absolutely adore this magazine.  I found out one of my friends knew the Editor-in-Chief and almost had a mini-orgasm.  Yes, I'm that pathetic.  I would love to write feature articles for them, as I know all the best places to flea market shop (also referred to as "digging in the dirt")

What do you consider a fashion faux pas?

Toilet paper stuck to your heel. Chipped fingernail and toenail polish.

What kind of haircut do you prefer?

Whatever makes me look tall, slim, and gorgeous. Unfortunately, I'm still searching for that cut.

What are your favorite movies?

1) Gone with the Wind 2) Second Hand Lions 3) Straight Talk (with Dolly Parton)

What inspires you?

People who strive to make a difference in the lives of others.

 

What do your friends call you most commonly?

Suz, Suzer, or Susie.  And no, my real name is not Suzanne.  It's Susan,  but my sister coined me her "baby Susie" when I was about 6 months and it stuck.

Would you prefer coffee or tea?

Both please.  Coffee in the morning, and tea (iced with Splenda) after noon.  

What makes you go wild?

People who are mean or abusive to animals, elderly, children, or the handicapped.  Oh, and bigotry. Argh... really hate a bigot.

Or did you mean "in the bedroom?" If so, I don't recall.

Which other blogs do you love visiting

 JennAventures (I actually stalked her blog so much, that I took the relationship to the next level and asked her to be my facebook friend-- she said yes!),  I've been newly turned on to the Sassy Curmudgeon, and I love to keep up with the blogs of my friends. Like Hanna at Embrace Your Inner Crazy.  She's a doll, and we are friends in real life- outside of the blogosphere.  Also see "Blogs I Stalk List". Now that I once again have home internet, I will be expanding my list of blogs I stalk.  Yippee!

Favorite Dessert/Sweet?

I love some good old fashioned bread pudding with great whiskey sauce. I also love red velvet cupcakes, and plain old chocolate cake.  Oh, and my Mawmaw"s Coconut Meringue pie.    

 Favorite Season?

 Summer!  Hanging outside by the pool in the hammock with a cold beer and a good book.  Yes, I am probably destroying my skin.  I know. I know. 

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

Agh!  Would this zit go away already?

What brings a smile to your face instantly?

Fat giggly babies.

What would you do if you were made President for one day?

I would probably tour the White House.  And have a great meal, made especially for me by the White House Chef. Find out which Secret Service agents were single, and be promptly introduced. Take a nap on the biggest and fluffiest bed. Meet and hang out with the first lady. Why? One day isn't enough time to get anything of consequence done (but I could screw up a lot in one day), so I might as well just take a vacation day.  

Rules for those who are tagged: Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.

Do you use soap or body wash?  What type?

Since you asked, I use a combo of both "gourmet" soaps, and body wash. I used to have a client who would give me these fancy french soaps.  I have a stock pile of lavender.  It's my favorite.  I also use  my own sugar scrub, and whatever yummy smelling body wash is gifted my way.

My faithful Followers... Grab your award and Tag You're It! (Sorry I don't have 8-10)

Jenna at JennAventures
Hanna at Embrace Your Inner Crazy
Travel and Dive Girl at Journey and Adventure 
Austin, Texas Sweetie Dream Farm Girl
Julie At Home with Myself
UberGrumpy- (agh! you've already been tagged.  Click here for a laugh) 

I hope this quenched the thirst of those who want to know more about the girl behind the blog.  No?  Keep reading.  I unveil more with each passing day.  

Drop Dead Gorgeous...

As I've said in the past, I meet lots of people everyday.  Really interesting people.  Some are interesting in a good way, and some are just ... interesting  Yesterday I was chatting with a customer who shared a bit of advice.  The woman was a more mature lady, 62, but very attractive with sparkling blue eyes and a contagious girlish giggle.  She had married twice, the first time for 30 years and 11 with the second. Delightful would be the word I would use to capture her essence.  Then the conversation turned to me, and the sure fire question... "Are you married?"

"Nope."  Shrug and smile (I know it's hard to believe--snicker).  "Maybe someday.  Maybe not?  Just haven't met the right guy for me."

And this was her advice to me:

1) Quit looking (already have)

2) Get involved with things you love and enjoy (working on it)

3) Date younger men (reeeeeeally?)

AND the KICKER...

4) Never leave the house looking anything but "drop dead gorgeous"

I'll give it my best shot, but some days it's all I can do to look pressed and presentable.  Number 4 may inspire me to stay home more often (and because I'll need to rest up, in order to keep up with suggestion #3).  Whoops, this, I'm afraid, was not her intent. But, alright, I'll do my best. With age comes wisdom, right?

It’s Been a Pleasure Sharing Friendly With You

I’ll admit… I’m a glass is half full (or ¾ full-- selective sight) type of girl.  I’m generally happy, smiley, and bubbly.  On the rare occasion that I’m grumpy… I try to hide, to preserve my image and to protect innocent bystanders.  However, if you catch me while I’m hungry and frustrated (also known as "hangry"), then watch out.  At these times, I've got a short fuse.  And this is why, after a specific incident on Monday, I’ve begun keeping granola bars in my desk drawer. It keeps the Incredible Hulk at bay.  I digress.

When I am out and about in the world (grocery store, dry cleaners, library, post office, etc), I try my best to be pleasant and courteous to the service professionals that are aiding me.  After all, is it really the cashier’s fault that her line is wrapped around the store because there are no other cashiers?  Nope, not her fault.  She’s feeling enough stress without my being a grumpy butt during our exchange.  So I smile and chat and try to make her job easier.  I’ve been in her shoes. I actually find myself there fairly often.

Being Dolly Parton’s biggest fan, I subscribed to her philosophy… “If someone doesn’t have a smile, give them yours.”  Isn’t that just perfect?  So, I do my best to share as many smiles a day as possible.  Yes, I’m a smile sharer. It costs me nothing, and I’ve got an unlimited supply. And because I meet around 15 new people per day, this comes in handy.

I notice and remember particularly nice exchanges I've had as a consumer with the working public. They cement themselves in my mind.  There is a McDonalds (I don’t even really like McDonalds), that I will go out of my way to stop for a diet coke, because the people who work there are so nice.  It doesn’t matter if you go through the drive through or go inside, friendliness encompasses. They are personable. And doesn't everyone like a real person better than a robot? They share their thoughts... "nice sunglasses", or ask about your day... "how's your day going?" Is the food better or the service faster?  Not really. It just feels good to be in a place where people are happy and sharing. 

I can also recall a massage from about 4 years ago.  The massage wasn’t anything special (except for I didn’t feel molested after… but this is a different blog for a different time).  It was the masseuse and the staff at the spa.  They were so personable, and genuine, and helpful, and for lack of a better word… nice. 

When has being nice to each other become an unusual occurrence?  I’ll admit, I don’t live in the friendliest city in America.  I really think New York City is probably friendlier than Dallas. Seriously. People aren't really helpful here.  Or friendly.  It's as if everyone is stumbling around in a fog of  consumerism, materialism, and misery.  Yuck. 

But, last night I went to dinner with some friends. It was a good night, and a bit different to what I'm accustom.   We went to a restaurant I’d never tried, that is located in my old neighborhood.  This neighborhood is a Dallas address, but is really not like Dallas at all.  It’s its own little city- the OC (Oak Cliff).  Dinner made me really miss my old hood.  Why? As some of you know, I moved because of the nearby gun fire one evening.   The reason I felt a tinge of home sickness, was because everybody was and is still so friendly (aside from the armed robbers).  Last night, the atmosphere was relaxed.  The place, Bolsa, was packed.  Diners and waitstaff were on top of each other, but no one was irritated.  Everyone was happy (diners included) and friendly.  The two men sitting at the table next to us (so closely that if my friend had been left handed and the man had been right handed… we would have had an issue), begged us to try their gourmet flatbread pizza (we didn’t because I had ordered the same thing) and also their steamed mussels.  They went as far as to dip their garlic bread in the excessive bowl of “buuuuuuddder” the mussels were soaking in, and pass it across. Because, "you just have to taste this”.  Of course this began a lively discussion of our favorite restaurants. We all shared the ones we had tried and ones we were dying  to try. We shared our favorites, and laughed and chatted.  It was lovely.  Lovely to just connect with someone who you will never see again, and share.  Isn’t sharing wonderful?

I have my share of short comings for sure.  I’m impatient at times.  I have little tolerance for immaturity.  I tend to hold a grudge after someone has burned me 3 times.  Yes, 3.  I judge parents who don’t parent their children in public, and allow them to run wild like little hooligans. I try not to share or convey my negative attributes.  Instead I strive to be friendly, genuine, and I hope after all these years, I’ve learned to share.  To me, sharing is priceless.  It’s the gift that can’t be quantified.  Share a smile. Share a compliment. Share a funny story. Share your heart. Share your resources. Share your thoughts. Share your meal. When done correctly (don't share your negativity and your grumpiness), sharing feels good to both the giver and the receiver.  So today, for me,  it has been my pleasure sharing friendly with you. Now, go share something nice with your dry cleaner or your grocery store bag boy.  They've earned it.

M.I.A

So, I've been a bit M.I.A on the blogosphere as of late.  Hmmm.... my excuse?  Don't really got one.  But I'll give it a go:

1) Don't have the time to blog mindlessly at work any longer.  I barely have time to check my email at work.  This is actually a great thing.  Since my last counselor psuedo-diagnosed me with ADD, I figure a job that keeps me "busier than a one legged man in a butt-kickin' contest" is a good thing.  It makes the day go fast.  Work day goes fast, and then on to the fun that is my "free time".  Today in my lil' Sunday School class (I always feel 5 when I refer to it as "sunday school") we discussed our passions.  It got me thinkin'... What am I passionate about?  Well, I know what I'm not passionate about.... a) work, b) green beans, c) politics (gasps from all my "politico" friends), and d) people who waste my time.  So... I figure this brings me closer to knowing what I am passionate about, right?  Updates on this topic at a later time. I'm going to give it some thought.

2) I still have not resumed my home internet service, although my salary has increased making this a possibility.  I've been slow and cautious to add new expenses into my budget.  My phone call to AT&T internet is somewhere on the horizon.  This will help with my ability to blog at my leisure (and not my freigbhor's). So, I apologize to my bloggy friends (frogs per JenJen- her word not mine, brillant right?) for not being attentive to your posts by reading and commenting.  I still catch some here and there, but must read them off my iPhone.  Since I'm visually impaired this is sometimes more trouble than it's worth-- no offense.  Excuses, excuses.

3) I don't really got much going on to blog about.  I haven't been very introspective lately.  I see this as contentment/happiness and have not given it too much thought.  Just enjoying the bliss.  Sigh... bliss (excuse me while I float on my cloud of nothing much to complain or think about-- ahhh).

4) I've also started a new hobby.... homemade bath products.  For those of you on the receiving end of one of the Christmas batches of sugar scrubs... it needed more oil.  Bring it back to me, and I'll hook you up.   It started with "Suzy's Scandalous Sugar Scrub", and am now concocting a "Suzy's Sexy Skin Butter".  It should be ready by the end of the month.  Website... also on the horizon.

So, I'll just give some updates on things that my followers (followers of my blog... no, I'm not going to ask you to drink the toxic Kool-aid.  I don't fancy myself a prophet) might be curious to know:

My friend Cat: (Orange Tic Tacs and Creamed Corn and BFF the College years).  I flew to Austin to see her on Tuesday, and she is better.  We got pedis, went to  see a movie, and took turns chilling on the heating pad that resides on her sofa (fab idea). We also dined on some mean breakfast tacos (a speciality in Austin). She finished her last radiation treatment before Christmas, and she is back in Austin reclaiming her groove.  She will get her next PET scan in February.  Apparently, the radiation keeps working after the last treatment.  So, she's still simmering, and we will know more with the next scan.  As Tom Petty would say, "The waiting... it's the hardest part."

The job:  Still learning (the learning curve sucks), but I really like my boss (he's fair and reasonable, and funny and nice) and my co-workers are the bomb.  Seriously, I don't think I've ever worked with such nice people.  I would highly recommend an account with this branch.  You'll be looked after, and cared about.  Nice peeps.

The love life:  Uhhhm.... not much going on here to report.  But, I'm so content, that I'm finding it difficult to care.  Maybe something's around the corner. Life's all about turning corners, right?

So, that's all I got. In the words of Holly Golightly, I'm just a "thumping bore".  Sigh.  Now, back to watching the newest episode of Desperate Housewives with my freighbor and her new beau.  Maybe he has friends?  I'm working on it.

It was the Best of Times... It was the Worst of Times

2009.  I consider this my “junior” year.  Junior year?  Aside from the year of my sister’s death, my junior years have always been my worst.  Junior year in high school- horrid.  Junior year in college- disaster.  7th grade (somewhat of a junior year)-- unimaginable sorrow.  However, the pattern is always the same… one atrocious junior year, followed by one glorious senior year.  2009 was a junior year. 

The thing about a junior year, is that it is absolutely crucial for a fabulous senior year.  My senior year in high school (Out the door in ‘94!) was one of the best years of my life.  Looking back at the pictures when at my parents over Christmas, I smiled fondly at the memories of times forgotten. While flipping through those old photos, I began to see similarities between the road I had traveled the prior year and the road I traveled this year in 2009.  And I got excited for 2010.  I came into my own my senior year.  I could only do this, because I figured out a lot of things during junior year.  I discovered my true friends. I had two friends my junior year and neither of them attended my high school. I thank God for Eric and Melanie, for tolerating my moroseness. And thank you Mrs. Wilson for letting me eat lunch with you in the debate room.  I also realized  what was important to me.  I let go of stress and some unnecessary responsibilities, made new friends, and became a more genuine me. I simply took a deep breath, stepped out, and decided to be myself… to hell with what anyone thought.  I was happy, and suddenly, I found new friends, rekindled relationships with old friends, and continued to remain loyal to the friends who were with me through the worst.  It was cathartic, only I didn’t know it and couldn’t truly appreciate it then.

Fast forward to junior year in college.  Misery.  I was lost, swallowed up in an organization that didn’t share my values, and surrounded by people who didn’t see me.  Not the real me.  I had nothing in common with my “friends”, and struggled to make new friends.  I believed in God, but where was He?  And just like that, the ship turned around… on a dime.  It’s amazing how quickly life can change.  I transferred to a new college (for the 1st of 2 fabulous senior years), and shed that yucky year like a snake sheds it skin.  And, I really didn’t look back.  But, I was appreciative.  Because if life is one big continuous bowl of cherries, then can one ever truly taste the sweetness?  I don’t think so.  Junior years are necessary. 

My 7th grade year… junior high school.  My sister died when I was in 6th grade.  But in 7th grade, I was lost.  I couldn’t seem to define myself.  I just wanted so terribly to blend in with the wallpaper, but felt all the pressure of replacing the daughter that my parents had lost. And I talk about this year last, because I don’t remember many details, aside from the overwhelming sadness, and a couple of snapshot highlights (cheerleader tryouts, trick or treating, and passing out at church--this was when I was first diagnosed with Anemia and not depression. And this explained to my parents why I was sleeping so much).  I felt no joy that I recall.  But, I rebounded and had an excellent 8th grade (senior) year. See the pattern?

2009 stands out as one of the top 5 worst years in my life.  Why?  Yes, there are some happy moments in 2009, but I will always consider 2009 my lost year.  My career gobbled up my free time and forced me to reprioritize, placing career before family, friends, and sometimes God.  My resolution for 2009 had been to get real with people.  And I did.  I absolutely did.  I’ve been growing, painfully so, closer and closer to my genuine self.  And, more importantly, I am sharing that “genuine girl” with those around me.   But, 2009 was painful.  I can remember thinking “God, why have you forsaken me?”  Really?  I wasn’t hung up on the cross, or lost in the dessert for 40 years.  But being a bit of a drama queen,  I felt that God had forgotten me.  He had not.  God turned the ship around in November, once again…on a dime.  And I was delivered so to speak, and my faith replenished. Here was the light at the end of the tunnel  for which I had been praying.  But it was necessary, in order to appreciate the goodness that is surely to come in 2010.  2009 was a junior year, and 2010 is destined to be a senior year, or so I believe. And believing is 99% of the battle.

My resolutions for 2010...

1) To make room in my life.  To clear out clutter, both literally and figuratively, and make room for the future.

2) To focus on my health.  To become more mentally, spiritually, and physically healthy. Continuing to discard the negative and focus on the positive.

3) To grow in my relationship with God.  To focus on nurturing that relationship, just as I would a friendship. 

4) To surround myself with people who are healthy and good for me. No more toxic peeps. Or if absolutely unavoidable, then in small doses.

5) To focus on the exploitation of my creative gifts.  Yes, I would like to exploit my creativity for love or money, or just for personal enjoyment.

Things began to change at the end of 2009, to pave the way to a great 2010.  I’m hopeful.  And as I toasted and welcomed in the New Year with friends this past Thursday, I couldn’t help but fondly wave adios to the past year.  2009-- it was good knowing you, but I’m glad our relationship has come to an end.  You were the best of times, but you were the worst of times.  Here’s to a fresh start.  

I'm Hangry meets Desperation and the Holidays

 Just a short note as I've been "called out" for not blogging since pre-Christmas.  I came over to my freighbor's (friend/neighbor) house so we could whip up some homemade chili.  Frankly, my ham sandwich from lunch had worn off about two hours prior and I was grumpy, foot tapping, whiny, and anxious waiting for the chili to get done.  My friend informed me that when you get so hungry, that it makes you grumpy or angry... well, then you're "hangry". 

My freighbor makes mucho sense.  I was hangry.

In addition while prepping for dinner, her match profile kept dinging.  8 winks today, and 6 more over the past weekend.  I admit, my freighbor is the bomb, but my comment... "What is it with men and the holidays... it brings out their utter desperation".

My long lost "man friend" (read "If I Only Knew Then"), has continued to pursue me via email.  I have yet to "give up" my phone number.  Thanks to a witty commentor (applause to uberGrumpy) from that blog, I had the balls to ask him if he had his vasectomy reversed.  His response.. "not YET. So... your number?" See, desperation and the holidays?

Desperation in the men, and the women are all hangry.  That's all I've got tonight.  I'm pooped, but no longer hangry.  And unfortunately for the boys, not feeling at all desperate. Alas, still not giving up my digits to my lonely, holiday desperate past lust.  I've got his digits.  So, when I'm feeling desperate, I can send a booty text. Booty texting... not just for boys. 

Happy Holidays!