A couple of months ago, I wrote a rather morose entry, "Where's That Girl". It was an homage to my displeasure with my overall life circumstances. The first step is admitting you have a problem... and thus it was written. And, I now feel that my prayer was released into the universe and granted by the good Lord himself... (so I tip my proverbial hat to big G, JC, and the Ghost-- I couldn't have appreciated it, if I hadn't know what I was missing. Thank you). This was my wish:
More than anything... I want less time: Less time spent in traffic. Less time spent at a job where no matter what I do... it well never be enough. Less time spent in front of a computer. Less time spent with people that don't matter, because they are bitter and hard to please. Less time spent wondering where in the hell my life has gone. Less time wasting my talents in corporate America. Less time to fret about the future. Less time for bad habits and people who make me feel bad about myself. Less time standing in line. Less time fixing the mistakes I made, because I was in too much of a rush to do it right the first time. Less time for regret.
It's amazing what a few months can do. I decided to take life by the reins (I don't fancy myself a true horse-woman, but in this case... giddy-up). I've sometimes foolishly been a proponent of my own personal counseling philosophy of "if you don't like something-- CHANGE IT". This theory took me to 4 different colleges for undergrad, and I've moved more than most Army brats. But, I decided to take my own advice once more, and began searching for a new career-- a change of pace. I earnestly felt that my life was passing me by... and suprisingly I ended up simply changing positions with my company (it fell into my lap, as do all thing that come from God), and this has enabled me to change other things. But, first:
- Things that have not changed:
- my benefits (still steller)
- the continuity on my resume (yay-- because I may not want to retire from here. I'm a fickle girl).
- Things that have changed:
- my commute (from 35-40 minutes to 5 minutes)
- my salary (I have one now)
- my co-workers (no complaints either way... I've always worked with a lovely group of peeps)
- my stress level --what's stress?
- my hours (I'm 40 hours max, baby! And it feels like a part time job)
- where I go for lunch (I now go home, instead of to the yucky break room)
- my energy level
- my attitude
- my "fun-ness" (yes, it's a word)
- my weight (I've already lost 5 pounds)
I feel like a new person. And I feel I am getting closer and closer to where I want to be. It's a step in the right direction fo' sho'! In the last few weeks I have completely let my hair down and taken deep breaths. I'm... dare I say... happy? I don't want to jinx it. Here's to Christmas! Christmas normally passes me by, but this year, I am going to savor every moment. And here is the direction I would like to head quoted from the same August blog:
More than anything... I want, and feel I need more time. Yes, more time to spend with the people I care about. More time to work on becoming the very best "me" I can be. More time to enjoy activities that are enriching and educational. More time to give away for volunteering and helping the earth and the people who live here. More time to use my talents. More time to have conversations where you really get to know someone. More time to have a glass of wine while watching the sunset (I'm on my commute during sunset). More time for long walks. More time for contentment in the present. More time for God. More time for joy and laughter.
I am on my way! I will try my best to keep ya'll posted! (Maybe if Anna nags me enough).
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